if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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