He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
