Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
