I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
