dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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