do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
