I'm so fucking centered right now
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
