Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
