I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
