U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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