I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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