how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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