I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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