as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
