so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
