fuck your aforementioned shoe
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
