found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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