i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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