Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
