Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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