I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize