You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
