so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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