i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
