What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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