Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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