I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
