I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
