Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize