i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
