We're facebook friends in real life
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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