would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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