oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
