I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize