The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
