he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
