saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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