They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
