I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
