Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
