I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
