3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
