It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
