Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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