I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
