Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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