Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He passed out mid-signature
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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