My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
