well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
