did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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