Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
