i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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