Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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