he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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