Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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