And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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