i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
