honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize