Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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