go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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