ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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