dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
