too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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