bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
